Part 9: Decisions, Decisions
To say that Katrina had been in a funk ever since leaving the stationery store was an understatement. She arrived at the bookstore with tear-stained eyes and a defeated disposition. The ability to hold herself together quickly dissipated once Imani was in her presence. Her friend greeted her with a two-word question from behind the counter atop the stool; she mostly conducted her work, not enjoying her office’s quiet emptiness.
Katrina racked her mind for the single issue that inflicted her with the most pain. Being cheated on. Being lied to. The end of a marriage she enjoyed up until she learned about her husband’s infidelity. Moving out of a house she loved but no longer being able to stay there without being heartbroken and depressed. Old wounds that were reopened by being cheated on. And etc. Unable to say all the things that hurt her she just muttered a simple reply.
“That’s a bold ass bitch,” were the words to freely tumble out of Imani’s mouth after Katrina gave her the rundown of what happened at the stationery store.
They’d been at Katrina’s house for an hour and some change. At first, Katrina had turned down her friend’s attempt to drive her home but now that she was fresh from an afternoon nap she knew it was the best decision she made.
She watched Imani move around her kitchen with little need to ask her where things were since she’d helped her unpack boxes and stored things away and even gave input to where the best spot for the coffeemaker was; on the standalone counter next to the walk-in pantry. The vegetables had been sliced and the jasmine rice was done. Katrina offered to take over but Imani ordered her to sit so that’s what she’d been doing for the last twenty-something minutes trying to ignore the three pregnancy tests sitting on a paper towel on the island in front of her.
“You don’t think it’s naivety?” Katrina looked down at the wine glass wishing she could be sipping on something other than pomegranate juice. Malbec, Pinot Noir, Merlot maybe. Something with a kick to help her forget her current circumstances for just a moment but no she couldn’t.
Imani gave her a pointed look before placing the brand-new wok on the stove. All the things in Imani’s kitchen were new. She was firmly against taking anything from her marital house. It held too much baggage and memories. She didn’t want to feel a twinge of pain while scrambling eggs or making smothered chicken. She wanted a fresh start. A clean slate. Too mad that won’t be happening now.
“If she were naive she would’ve scurried her ass out of the store,” Imani informed, turning on the burner. “But she didn’t. She talked to you knowing full well she wasn’t apologizing.”
“She seemed sincere.” Katrina shrugged too tired to care about the woman’s intentions.
Imani humped, dropping onions and yellow bell peppers into the wok. Sizzling buzzed behind her as she pointed the wooden spoon in her direction, “I bet you she was trying to see just how free Terrence is.”
“You know what…” Katrina let out a sigh and then held up her hands. “I don’t care. I don’t care if she was legit or if it was a ploy. I couldn’t give two fucks.”
“Good,” Imani said, flipping the onions and bell pepper so they won’t burn. “Because you don’t need him.”
“I don’t.” The words must’ve come out of her mouth like a question because Imani glanced over her shoulder with a questioning look. “I don’t.” She repeated this time with her back erect and her shoulders back. She might have felt defeated but she wasn’t going to let her demeanor broadcast it.
But then again what did she have to feel defeated about. Sure, her marriage didn’t work out the way she wanted it to and her journey into parenthood was going to be different than how she dreamed it but did that make her a failure. No.
She nodded her head to Megan The Stallion flowing rhythmically, happy her friend decided against her usual neo-soul cooking playlist. She couldn’t take Maxwell or Vivian Green singing about love and heartbreak even though she was going through an emotional rollercoaster. She needed to be hyped up and enriched with motivation for this next phase in her life. No, she probably wasn’t going to have a hot girl summer although summer was a couple month away. But she sure as hell was tired of having a sad girl spring.
“I can rock the hell out of single motherhood.” She declared, glancing away from the trio of positive pregnancy tests
“Absolutely,” Imani said adding seasoned flank steak to the wok. “And I’m sure Terrence will have the kid on the weekends so we can turn up.”
“Shit.” She hissed, reaching her hand in a bag of her favorite treats; Trolli’s Sour Peach O’s. “I have to tell him, don’t I?”
“Uh.” Imani looked at her as the steak cooked. “He’s the baby’s father and technically he’s still your husband so…yes.”
Katrina sunk her teeth into the gummy treat thinking how satisfying it would be to move away in the middle of the night and never tell Terrence that she was pregnant then build a life with her baby and call him up some months after she’d formed a bond with their child. Would he feel the same hurt and confusion as she was feeling right now?
But she couldn’t do that. She let the sourness of the candy nip her tongue annoyed with herself for even entertaining the thought but pain could make one do the darndest things.
“I know. I’ll tell him after I get a blood test.” She sighed, leaning on the island’s cool counter. “If it comes back positive I’ll have to cut things off with Keir also.”
“Because.” She gestured to her stomach but didn’t hint at her current condition.
“If that’s what you want to do.” Imani sounded, dumping carrots and green beans in the wok. “Do what’s best for you?”
Katrina took a sip of her non-alcoholic beverage knowing her friend’s response was a generic one, meaning she didn’t agree with her but wasn’t going to put in her two cents. But Katrina knew it was the right thing to do. She was pregnant and going through a divorce. The last thing she needed was a young handsome man complicating the decisions in her life.
Do you think Imani is right about Sage?
Do you think Katrina is being truthful about not caring if Sage was trying to check if she really wanted to work on her marriage?
Why do you think Katrina entertained the thought of not telling Terrence she was pregnant?
Should she cut things off with Keir since she might be pregnant?
Does music affect your mood as it does Katrina’s?